October 2, 2008

  • why marraige?

    Nothing against marriage, but just a random thinking moment.

    I have been thinking - what is the point of marriage? Why can't people just be "together" and that's good enough. To me, it seems like marriage is just a title. Two people can do everything they can do in a marriage without actually getting married.

    I'm just seeing no great reason to get married.

    Marriage...seems to complicate things. Mentally, people feel more tied down when nothing they're doing has changed.

    My mom and her sisters have been telling me - don't get married!

    I do wonder if it's because of their bitterness towards their own marriages. Or is it just the truth. Why get married? Why add more responsibilities to your life?

     

    Yeah, like I said...just ramblings.

Comments (3)

  • Speaking as someone who was just married and has spent the last couple weeks in wedded bliss -- really, as you said, nothing as changed really. It's actually really surprising to me that nothing really feels that different. :)

    Except one thing:

    We've vowed to be together eternally.

    And while people who aren't married can say that they're going to be together forever, there's no guarantee. And while, given, there's no guarantee these days even if you *are* married, it is still a sworn commitment in front of your friends, family and God that you will definitely try everything in your power to keep that bond, regardless of what bitterness may come.

    While to some it might feel like being "tied down", instead of constricting, I find it liberating to know that no matter what, I have someone that is mine. That I'll never have to wonder how he feels about me, or whether he's just waiting for the next better thing to come along.

    In the end, I guess the best way to describe it is this: there are two types of "freedom". Freedom to and freedom from. Without being married you have the freedom to be with whoever you want, and same as your partner. Being married, you have freedom from all the uncertainties that come with a relationship that is not bound in word and law.

  • Marriage doesn't complicate things, people complicate things. As you said, the couple doesn't really do anything different, so why would they feel any different? It's created by our own anxiety and paranoia. When Kim and I got married, I did not feel that it complicated things at all.

    Also, why is it a bad thing to feel tied down? That's what monogamy is! If you're afraid to feel tied down, then please don't get married, and go ahead and date other people.

    Lastly, I ask, "Why NOT get married?" I can't think of a more powerful way to pronounce your devotion and commitment to the one you love. If you don't want to be with anyone else for the rest of your life, then why not just make it official? What are you afraid of?

  • Marriage has its benefits. One is the ability to visit the person you love in the hospital if that person would ever fall ill. That's one reason why the gay community is fighting so hard to have the ability to marry. I don't know if I told you this story... if I didn't...well here it is.

    A guy moved into his boyfriend's home and they lived together for for years. They would have gotten married if the government would have allowed it but it was impossible at the time. I forgot what happened exactly, but the guy who owned the house died somehow and the boyfriend was forced to move out of "their" house because the boyfriend was nothing more than a boyfriend and the homeowner's family was given the house. The unsupportive family then sold the house, not caring for the boyfriend.

    There are many benefits to being married (even tax purposes), but I see it as a declaration of love. Just be thankful that you have that right to marry. Here in the state of California, this November people will vote on to make marriage only between a man and woman. I sure hope people vote against it. I don't want that right taken away from me, and just think of all those gay couples who are currently married in California. If this proposition passes, then their marriage will be taken away from them. It just sucks, because I think of my parents and wonder what it would be like if their marriage was considered void and taken away from them. It's just not fair to the gay community. Marriage is about love and we shouldn't be discriminated against.

    Sorry for my little rant, but I'm just waiting for that first day of true equality.

Comments are closed.

Post a Comment